Rethink... rethink... rethink....NOW DO

Hello everyone.

It’s been a good long while since I’ve updated this blog. I see now that I need to prioritize writing, but in a public way. What good is writing in my journal? (Well, for starters, it’s an excellent way to process all those gnarly emotions!) I guess I mean, what good is having all these thoughts progressing through time and space without talking about them (starting a conversation) to deepen the thought process?

I know there are like-minded souls who have similar questions as me. But it can feel lonely in my head when I don’t share these questions. There are many times in my life where I have felt isolated. Or maybe it’s that I’ve isolated myself by not having conversations in person with friends I trust because I fear the vulnerability required.

Maybe that’s all this is; fear of vulnerability. I’m afraid to be authentically, outwardly curious. Afraid to share my potentially controversial opinions about the world.

Do I really need to share all this? Or do I just need to express that I feel this way sometimes?

Why is it that some artists can be happy and cheerful on a (seemingly) constant basis? (Maybe it suits their style). What’s my style? Experimental, highly variable, saturated, INTENSE. It makes me nervous to thinking about sharing this mind of mine.

But I see now that I’ve got to!

Sharing my thoughts

It’s the least I can do.

Shop Update

Hello. I am slowly updating my website with tons of new pieces, I’m excited to promote their sale. I find it challenging to embrace the marketing world, challenging to sell myself as an artist. I feel like a big phony! But this post isn’t about sucking myself down into the depths. I am proud of the art I’ve made, and I hope that it finds its place on people’s walls. I want to share the beauty that I see in the world. (But sometimes that feels like literally mulching it all down into nothing and moving on into a new creative space). What is that called? Disassociation? Wanting to disassociate?

I’m not going to do that until I’ve given this work a fair fighting chance. Selling is tough, no body ever said otherwise. I’ve got to keep pushing, keep stretching beyond my comfort zone. It doesn’t all happen in a day!

Art Blog

Hello. It’s been a while. A lot has changed in my life, and a lot has remained. I am an artist. I have a heart for the disenfranchised (especially children). I have a story to tell.

A brief summary. Since returning home from my adventure to Ibadan, Nigeria in 2012, I attended and graduated from Humber College with a degree in Film Production, followed by a diploma in Art and Design from Mohawk College. I have painted with serious intention since 2016, building my skills and portfolio to hopefully attend an MFA program in the near future.

I am compelled by nature, I am drawn in by human struggle, I am mystified by tradition, and I am always diving deeper inward, fostering the still small voice within in hopes I can affect positive change in the wide world.

THUS BEGINS MY ART BLOG. LET’S SEE WHERE THIS SUCKER GOES!

Home

So, I've been a bad blogger. I apologize, and there really isn't a good excuse either. I'm sorry everyone!

Basically what happened in the last few weeks is I arrived home on June 6 to a beautiful mother and father, waiting at the airport for me! My first flight was 7 hours, a layover of 8 hours, and a second flight of 7 hours, plus getting there early, picking up luggage and whatnot all added up to almost a full 24 hours of travel. I was exhausted! Yet strangely pumped full of adrenaline.

So my mom and dad and I decided to bike around the Toronto islands. The fresh air smelt sooooo good, and the lake was sooo beautiful, and I was crying and laughing, semi-hysterical but definitely having a good time.

Now I've been home for several weeks, and the shock of coming home (although it really didn't seem like that much) is slowly going away. I'm so incredibly happy to see my friends again, and my family, and all the people who have supported me while I was gone! I want to say a huge THANK YOU to everyone who has read this blog, and has sent me messages and comments encouraging me while I was away. It truly meant so much to me!

I want to thank my family as well. They have been with me through this whole trip through emails and phone calls and Skyping, and I am thrilled to be living back in a place where I can speak to my mom and dad face to face every day! Mom and dad especially, you have helped me get through a lot of lonely and difficult times while I was gone. You have been a gigantic blessing to me! And also my family in Nigeria. You are a part of me now, and I am so grateful for the time that I could spend with you, learning about you and loving you. I am so blessed to know you.

And of course I need to thank my God. You called me, you sustained me, and you brought me home safe. I can't take any of the glory for what happened on this trip. It's all Yours.

Thankyou so much for riding this roller coaster with me!

I made a short video of some of the things I experienced while I was there. Enjoy!

(I am temporarily shutting this blog down, so you needn't worry about updates about my "normal" life. But please stay subscribed! I hope to use this blog again when I go on trips like this in the future!)

Ms. McCan's Class

While I was away at CHIPROM, I was contacted by a teacher at my Dad's school. She was a gr. 1 teacher who was interested in getting some of the kids at CHIPROM to be pen pals with her students.

We were able to write back and forth several times, and I know the kids at CHIPROM were super excited when they saw some of the letters the Canadian students were writing them! The Saturdays where we worked on our letters to Canada were much anticipated events, and I'm glad that we were able to do something so exciting for both groups of kids!

I was able to visit the gr. 1 class when I returned to Canada, and I gave them a bit of a presentation on what I did in Nigeria, and told them about who their pen pals were. I even brought a poster with me that the CHIPROM kids had coloured while I was with them! It was really cool to answer their questions, and help them learn more about the wide, wild world.

So thank you again, Ms. McCan's class! It was awesome getting to visit you and tell you about my trip!

Children of CHIPROM: Taiwo & Kehinde

(Kehinde, meaning: Last Born)

These two girls are twins, but I didn't even know that until a few weeks after I first got to Chiprom! They look completely different, but once you get to know them, their sisterhood becomes very evident.

(Taiwo, meaning: First Born)

These two girls have been at CHIPROM for almost 2 years, and they've gone from being shy to excited and bubbly 7 year old girls! Taiwo is a special case for praise to God. She was blind when she arrived at Chiprom, and within a few months, her sight was fully restored! God has his hand on these girls, and I feel so blessed to have known them.

Children of CHIPROM: Tayo

Tayo was so shy when I first came to Chiprom. Within the first week, she got chicken pox, and was in a lot of pain. I felt so bad for the poor girl!

But as soon as I brought my camera out, she would start dancing and posing up a storm. She's not camera shy, thats for sure! The longer I stayed, the more she warmed up to me, and finally on the last night, she started crying, saying how much she didn't want me to leave! She is a sensitive sweet heart, and I miss her a lot!

My Going Away Party

Oh man, I have so little time left here. It's really bittersweet. I guess I always knew that, but its hitting me now. On Sunday, we had a "send forth" as they call it here. Everyone got together and the kids all shared reasons why they loved their Aunty Sierra. Needless to say, it was emotional.

They told me I was the best volunteer they've ever had. I don't know if they say that to all the volunteers, but it sure worked on me! It is REALLY hard to leave these kids. Everyone appreciated me, and then they sang "For She's a Jolly Good Fellow". We ate puff-puffs (Nigerian home-made Timbits) and drank Coke and watched Spongebob. It was a lovely evening.

I am going to miss these kids. I am going to miss the screaming at six in the morning, the wrestling matches in the sitting room, the dance parties when the power comes on... Canada is going to be a lot to get used to.

I am so excited to come home and see my family, but I feel like a piece of me is back with those kids. Saying goodbye to them was probably one of the most difficult things I've had to do in my life. Working with people, loving people like that... I've opened up my heart to be so vulnerable, to let them in. It hurts because I care so deeply. And that's what we've got to do. We've got to love like God loved us first.

"Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us." (1 John 4:11-12, NIV)

That pretty much sums it up right there. Leave it to the Big Guy to have the right words to say. :)

Children of CHIPROM: Seun and Saye

Just this last week, we had a pair of twins join us at Chiprom. Their names are Seun (Shay-oon) and Saye (Shay-ee) and they're 3 weeks old. They are sooooo tiny. I thought Success was small, and now he seems like the chubbiest baby ever.

(Seun)

(Saye)

These boys are so small and adorable (although they do scream a lot). I'm praying that they continue to grow healthily, and that they bond well with the other children.

Children of CHIPROM: Sunday

Sunday is so awesome. He is known around the house as the Pastor, or just plain "Pastor Sunday". He loves to burst out into prayer at random times (but everyone always stops to listen to this 5 year old, because his prayers are just the best!)

He can be a handful sometimes (I won't lie to you). But I know I'm going to miss all of his crazy antics!

Painted Faces

On Tuesday, we had Democracy Day (which is basically a Nigerian Independence Day). The kids were home from school, and we were hoping to go swimming but it starting pouring in the morning, and was drizzly all throughout the afternoon.

Even though we didn't get to go swimming, I decided to surprise them and bring out my face paints! Everyone got painted, and we had Spiderman, Batman, monkeys and tigers all running around the house, proud of their new faces!

Children of CHIPROM: Samuel & Elizabeth

Well, if it isn’t Little Miss Sassy and Mr. Swag in person! These 6 year olds are always a riot. 

Samuel is constantly running around, showing off his kung-fu moves, wrestling with Isaiah and the other boys on the sitting room floor, and occasionally sits still enough to watch some Power Rangers on TV. He is full of energy, thats for sure! Occasionally, he'll cuddle up to me and sit still, but it only ever lasts for a few minutes, and then he finds some new task to keep him running around.

Elizabeth, or Elli as she likes to be called, is the sassiest little girl I have ever met. I figured these kids would have sass, but I never expected this much! She loves bossing people around, dancing and just strutting her stuff in her many skirts and dresses. Anytime I try to take a picture of her, she’s always got a new pose for me! She also knows exactly what she wants to be when she grows up: a hairdresser. Several times a day, she walks up to me (struts would be a better word) and says "lemme do yo hair". She's great!

These kids make the house so loud and crazy and capital-F Fun! 

My Birthday Party

 

My birthday party (now over a week ago) was amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better 19th Nigerian-style birthday.

It all started when the kids got home from school. The mommies had been cooking and frying food up all day long, and I had just assumed it was for future use... like preparing food in advance for the next week or something. Turns out it was for my party (!) and I only found out when the kids came home.

Everyone got off the bus and ran upstairs to get changed into their party clothes. Someone let me in on the fact that I was having a birthday party, so I got changed too.

We all sat down in the sitting room and one of the mommies prayed for us. Even though it was in Yoruba, it was lovely (can I say that?) Then we sang worship songs, and then the kids sang me birthday songs. That was so incredibly special. I mean, a children's choir of Nigerian kids all singing for me? Who'd have thought I would ever experience that. (Not going to lie, I got a little emotional).

Then we ate our food, and had a dance party. During the dance party, I brought out some glow sticks from Canada that I had been saving for a special occasion. The kids had never seen them before, so it was pretty exciting.

I feel so blessed to be here with these kids.

Children of CHIPROM: Dupe

This is Dupe. She is so sweet, and so cute. She is always helping the younger boys with their homework, and often helps the mommies with washing the clothes. She is such a great helper!

When I first met her, the first thing I noticed about her was her laugh. It was this high, tinselly sounding giggle. She loves laughing, and she loves laughing a LOT! She is such a joy to have around the house.

IT'S MY PARTY!!

Hey! Hey, you! Guess what!

I'm 19 today! Oh my goodness, I am so old. 

God has been so gracious to me and blessed me with 19 wonderful years on this planet. I am only starting to realize now how big and beautiful and FULL this world is. I have so many people to know, and so many things to eat, and so many planes/trains/automobiles to ride...

To quote Willy Wonka, "I have so much time and so little to do... Strike that, reverse it."

This trip to Nigeria has opened my eyes to the vivacity and excitement of life, as well as the daily struggle it can be. My heart is being stretched to include a whole other set of little people. I only have 3 weeks before I'm back in Canada again, and I'm already feeling that melancholy, bittersweet feeling. I'm so excited to go home and see my family again, but I'm also so incredibly sad to leave these kids.

But I know that with the care they receive from this home, it will (most likely) raise them up into being solid Christian brothers and sisters. So I can see them once again in eternity. One can pray! That would be the ultimate birthday present. 19 new brother and sisters for my 19th birthday!

Children of CHIPROM: Favor

Hello Favor! This guy is one and a half years old, and is the sweetest thing around. He waddles around the house, following Ibukun and causing havoc. They are our resident trouble-maker buds! Sometimes he'll break away and run over to me to hug my legs. I'm really going to miss that!

He also has this habit of sucking his bottom lip like a soother. I don't think I even saw his bottom lip until the second week I was here! He is pretty darn adorable when he smiles, though.

{If you want to read other Children of CHIPROM posts, click here to go to the list of names.}

Nigerian Life: Thunderstorms

Hello all!

For the past few nights, Ibadan has been hit with some pretty killer thunderstorms. And I mean "rattle-the-windows-with-the-subwoofer-sound-coming-from-the-sky" thunderstorms. It's been pretty epic to say the least! (Although it's apparently completely normal. The only person who is shocked and amazed every time lightning strikes is me.)

Last night I decided to bust out my camera and start filming. I've never had such a good vantage point for lightning before, so the results (at least in my humble opinion) are AWESOME. In fact, capturing lightning on camera was on my bucket list.

See, right there? No. 36? Yeah, I can check that one off now. (Also note, apparently at some point I wanted to be a sailor. We'll see if that happens!)

I actually screamed with glee when I got the first shot. Dreams coming true here, people.

I had a few of the kids sitting with me on the top bunk in the girl's room, and we would count to three and then I would take a picture on "three". It was so fun to share all the "sky fire" with them! I'm going to remember doing this for a lonnnng time.

And my personal fave...

It was literally 15,000 times cooler than fireworks. God is such an incredible pyrotechnic!

(I also made a video. Enjoy!!!)

Children of CHIPROM: Isaiah and Esther

Say hello to Isaiah and Esther, the recently turned seven year old twins (on April 2nd, to be exact).

Isaiah is the oldest boy here at Chiprom currently, and he is the man of the house. I always see him separating the littler boys from fighting! And he is so cuddly, too. When he come home from school (even if he is the oldest guy around) he runs up to me and hugs me around my waist and just stares up at me. I love this guy.

Esther is such a wonderful little girl. She loves being the mom, telling other kids what to do, what not to do, where to sit, etc. She loves feeding the babies, and carrying little Success around whenever she can. She wants so badly to be a grown-up! She is super cute.

{If you want to read other Children of CHIPROM posts, click here to go to the list of names.}

Projects

Hello everyone!

I just wanted to let you know some of the projects I've been working on recently. I was asked by the Chiprom President to create a blog for Chiprom because he really liked the way I've been using this one to communicate to a large audience. Of course I set all that up, and you can find that at www.chiprom.wordpress.com. I'm going to be putting prayer requests and news bits on there, and will continue to do so even after I leave, so there's a new way to stay updated with Chiprom!!!

We also had a carpenter come and build some book shelves to hang in the girls' room, and then the kids moved a bunch of books out of storage to the upstairs, where I sorted them and put them in their proper spot. The children were so excited to spend the afternoon reading! It rained, and everyone was stuck inside anyways, so it was quite a cosy day. There is also room for more books, so if you have any old books you want to get rid of, feel free to e-mail me at sierravanarragon@gmail.com  and we can figure out a way to send your books over to the kids!

I also was asked to hang up some mosquito nets in the kids' rooms. The carpenter who built the bookshelves also installed some nails above the bunk beds, and I spent my afternoon attaching nets. I've got to say, it makes the beds look really nice! This will help protect the kids from any further bouts of malaria. I've still got to hang them up in the boys' room.

So I've been pleasantly busy! I've been learning a lot about cultures, and God and myself in these past weeks which is wonderful. I've also realized that today is exactly one month until I'll be touching down in Canada. It amazes me that I've only got such a short time left, and I am so thankful for this once-in-a-lifetime trip that God has blessed me with. I think it's going to change my life...

Peace,

Sierra

Children of CHIPROM: Success

Ahhh, sweet Success. He is the newest addition to Chiprom, and he is an absolute doll.

No words. 

I mean, how perfect is that face? 

This little guy loves life. So much so that if he isn't being held by a living, breathing person while he is awake, he will scream and cry until he is. And when you are holding him, he's the happiest little guy on the planet. All the other kids love carrying him around with them, and I'm sure he loves it too.

AHH!! Cuteness overload!!!

{If you want to read the other Children of CHIPROM posts, click here to go to the list of names.}